{"id":28,"date":"2024-09-10T22:36:45","date_gmt":"2024-09-10T22:36:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lovewithbuse.com\/?page_id=28"},"modified":"2026-04-12T17:27:39","modified_gmt":"2026-04-12T17:27:39","slug":"about-me","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/lovewithbuse.com\/?page_id=28","title":{"rendered":"About Me"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Hakk\u0131mda \/ About Me<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

29 May\u0131s 1994’te \u0130stanbul’da D\u00fcnya’ya geldim. (foto) Hala tam olarak D\u00fcnya’da m\u0131y\u0131m emin de\u011filim. D\u00fcnyevi ile d\u00fcnyevi olmayan aras\u0131nda bir ba\u011flant\u0131y\u0131m, ki bu Er\u00f4s<\/em>‘tur. (bkz. Er\u00f4s<\/em>‘un Etimolojisi)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Platon’a g\u00f6re Yunanca Er\u00f4s<\/em> yani A\u015fk\/Sevgi bir deamon<\/em>‘dur -yani d\u00fcnyevi olmayan (ilah\u00ee) ve d\u00fcnyevi, Tanr\u0131(lar) ve insan aras\u0131nda yar\u0131 tanr\u0131sal g\u00fc\u00e7ler, mesajc\u0131lard\u0131r. (bkz. Sokrates, Diotima, Er\u00f4s<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Babam \u0130smail Kurtar, \u015eark\u00f6y sahilinde gezinirken kayalar\u0131n \u00fczerinde oturan bir deniz k\u0131z\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f. Boydan boya uzanan, uzun bacakl\u0131, narin ve \u00e7ok g\u00fczel bir deniz k\u0131z\u0131. Annem Oya \u00d6\u011fretmen’i g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f. Bu deniz k\u0131z\u0131, insan olmay\u0131 \u00e7ok merak etmi\u015f ve kuyru\u011fundan, \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fczl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden vazge\u00e7ip iki bacak edinmi\u015f ve kayadan kalk\u0131p y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f. Yan\u0131nda teyzesi de varm\u0131\u015f. O y\u00fczden \u0130smail ilkin onlara yakla\u015famam\u0131\u015f, zor duruma da sokmak istememi\u015f ama bu saf g\u00fczelli\u011fi de ka\u00e7\u0131rmak istememi\u015f. O y\u00fczden geriden geriden takip etmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc A\u015fk\/Sevgi harekete ge\u00e7irendir. Ve i\u015fte \u0130smet \u00d6zer’in de dedi\u011fi gibi “Ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n a\u015fk\u0131yla ba\u015fl\u0131yor hayat\u0131m\u0131z”… (bkz. Firdevs: Arkada\u015flar Aras\u0131nda Er\u00f4s)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ana okulundayken kap\u0131da durup her sabah herkese “G\u00fcnayd\u0131n!” dedi\u011fimi hayal meyal hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum. Ve bir \u00e7ocuk hep karn\u0131ma vururdu. Ben her g\u00fcn yine de herkese “G\u00fcnayd\u0131n!” derdim. Ve o \u00e7ocuk karn\u0131ma vururdu. Annemin de \u015fahitli\u011fince “G\u00fcnayd\u0131n!” demekten vazge\u00e7memi\u015fim. G\u00fcnayd\u0131n! (foto, \u00c7i\u011fdem Anaokulu, 1998; bkz. Wu Wei: \u00d6b\u00fcr Yana\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da \u00c7evir)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alt\u0131nc\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131fta K\u00fclt\u00fcr Koleji’ne burslu olarak ba\u015flad\u0131m. T\u00fcrk\u00e7e \u00f6\u011fretmenim ve o zamanlardaki manevi ablam Ba\u015fak Kulu\u011f bize Faz\u0131l Say’\u0131n Naz\u0131m Hikmet Oratoryosu’nu a\u00e7t\u0131. (bkz. Naz\u0131m Hikmet) Naz\u0131m’la \u015fiirle ve “Ineffable”(Anlat\u0131lamaz) ile ba\u011flant\u0131ya ge\u00e7ip A\u015fk’a o zaman d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. (bkz. A\u015fk’a d\u00fc\u015fmek) 6. s\u0131n\u0131ftan 7. s\u0131n\u0131fa ge\u00e7erken bursumu artt\u0131r\u0131rsam bana k\u00f6pek alacaklar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yleyen ebeveynlerim s\u00f6zlerinde durdular. \u0130lk ko\u015fulsuz sevgi… (bkz. Bonita: \u0130lk Ko\u015fulsuz Sevgi)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Robert Kolej’deyken dilin nas\u0131l bir d\u00fcnya yaratabildi\u011fini ve ‘o dilin d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda kalan’dan nas\u0131l mahrum b\u0131rakabildi\u011fini deneyimledi\u011fim y\u0131llar ge\u00e7irdim. O kadar mahrum kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm bir d\u00fcnya daha vard\u0131 ki kendi d\u00fcnyama daha \u00e7ok tutunmam\u0131 sa\u011flad\u0131. Gould Hall’daki bir kermeste Jeffrey’i buldum. Benim plastik kertenkele arkada\u015f\u0131m. Onu \u00f6yle bir yaratt\u0131m ve canland\u0131rd\u0131m ki Jeffrey benden daha g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr oldu. Herkes s\u0131n\u0131fta veya serviste “Jeffrey’i buraya g\u00f6ndersene!”, “Jeffrey’i bu tarafa yollasana!” diyordu. Bu sadece plastik bir kertenkeleydi. Onu bu kadar pop\u00fcler yapan \u015fey Jeffrey olmas\u0131yd\u0131. (bkz. Rit\u00fcel ve Yarat\u0131m: \u0130nsan rit\u00fcelistik bir hayvand\u0131r)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kendimi ait hissetmedi\u011fim o d\u00fcnyada kendimi ait olmaya en yak\u0131n hissetti\u011fim yer \u00f6zellikle co\u011frafya derslerinde yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015fiirlerdi. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc co\u011frafya derslerinin verildi\u011fi s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131n manzaras\u0131 direkt bo\u011faza bakard\u0131, s\u00fctunlar\u0131n aras\u0131ndan. (foto) Ve G\u00fczel olana bakmak O’nu anlatmak iste\u011fi ile doldurur i\u00e7imizi. Kendimi ait olmaya en yak\u0131n hissetti\u011fim ikinci durak ise Band Apart isimli kul\u00fcpt\u00fc. Filmlerin d\u00fcnyas\u0131 ile ilk orada tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Being John Malkovich a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u015f sahnesi… (bkz. Bir Ben var benden i\u00e7eri)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131n s\u00f6mestr tatilinde anneanem ve babaannem ayn\u0131 anda hastayd\u0131lar. Ailecek Tekirda\u011f’a gittik ve d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fczde babaannemin yo\u011fun bak\u0131mda oldu\u011fu hastaneye babamla ben indik. Asl\u0131nda ziyaret\u00e7i alm\u0131yorlard\u0131 ama babaannemin durumu kritikti, bizi ald\u0131lar. Odaya girdik. Babaannem sa\u00e7lar\u0131 grinin elli tonu olarak a\u011fz\u0131nda boruyla yat\u0131yordu. Bilinci kapal\u0131yd\u0131. Duvara yak\u0131n olan tarafa yakla\u015ft\u0131m, babam\u0131 izlemeye ba\u015flad\u0131m. Babam yata\u011fa yakla\u015ft\u0131, babaannemin sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck bir itinayla\/\u00f6zenle ok\u015fad\u0131, biraz e\u011fildi, “Ate\u015f b\u00f6cekleri geldi” dedi “hadi kalk”. Ben babaannemin hayati fonksiyonlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6steren ekrana bak\u0131yordum, bir s\u00fcre de onlara bakmaya devam ettim a\u011flamamak i\u00e7in. (bkz. \u00d6l\u00fcm, A\u015fk ve \u00d6l\u00fcms\u00fczl\u00fck)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Edebiyat dersinde annemle ilgili yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir \u015fiiri okudum. Bitirdi\u011fimde her \u015feyle dalga ge\u00e7ebilen ve \u00e7ok e\u011flenen taraf\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6steren bir arkada\u015f\u0131m Dehan y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc ti\u015f\u00f6rt\u00fcne kapatm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 siliyordu. (bkz. Dokunmak, Temas etmek, Ba\u011flant\u0131)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Felsefe dersinde A.I. Artificial Intelligence (Yapay Zeka, 2001) filmini izliyorduk. Felsefe okumaya o derslerde karar verdim, \u00f6zellikle o filmde. Bir bedeni, \u00e7ok iyi tasarlanm\u0131\u015f bir makineyi “insan” yapan nedir? (bkz. \u00d6nce bi insan ol: Wittgenstein “Bir Ruh’a kar\u015f\u0131 tutum, Dilman “duygusal kavrama”)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2013 y\u0131l\u0131nda Robert’ten mezun olurken, \u00e7\u0131kartt\u0131\u011f\u0131m Hermafrodit<\/em> (Beni Kurtar, 2012) kitab\u0131m sayesinde Halide Edip Ad\u0131var edebiyat \u00f6d\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00fc ald\u0131m. (bkz. Cem TV: \u015fiir, saz, kapak viski ve g\u00fclla\u00e7 yapraklar\u0131)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kelimeler vesilesi ile O’nunla dans etmeyi hep sevmi\u015fimdir. O’nun beni dans ettirmesini de diyebiliriz. (bkz. Halil Cibran ve Aile Dizimi) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2014 y\u0131l\u0131nda Bo\u011fazi\u00e7i \u00dcniversitesi Felsefe B\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc’ne ba\u015flad\u0131m. \u0130kinci s\u0131n\u0131fta Chyrissi Sidiropolou ile Philosophy of Religion After Wittgenstein (Wittgenstein Sonras\u0131 Din Felsefesi) dersini ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m s\u0131ra tahtaya yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir c\u00fcmleyi \u00e7ok net hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum. “Only Love believes in Ressurrection. (Yanl\u0131zca A\u015fk\/Sevgi Dirili\u015fe (canlanmaya) inan\u0131r.” (foto, 2016?)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2019 mezun oldu\u011fumun yaz\u0131nda hayat\u0131m\u0131n en zor diyebilece\u011fim d\u00f6nemini ge\u00e7irdim (Allah daha zorlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6stermesin!). Kaybolmu\u015f, umutsuz, \u00f6zg\u00fcvensiz, karanl\u0131k ve g\u00f6rece belleksiz… \u015eirince’deki Nesin Matematik K\u00f6y\u00fc’nde Filmlerde Zihin Felsefesi kamp\u0131na kat\u0131ld\u0131m. Ve orada di\u011fer pek \u00e7ok g\u00fczel insan\u0131n yan\u0131 s\u0131ra Kaan Atalay ile tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Platon’un A\u015fk’\u0131ndan ve Sokrates’ten \u00f6yle farkl\u0131 bir \u015fekilde bahsetti ki… (bkz. Kaan Atalay – \u0130nanman\u0131n S\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 ve Devrimin Sonsuzlu\u011fu 1. K\u0131s\u0131m & 2. K\u0131s\u0131m)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bo\u011fazi\u00e7i \u00dcniversitesi Felsefe Y\u00fcksek Lisans B\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc kabul m\u00fclakatlar\u0131 s\u0131ras\u0131nda ilgin\u00e7 buldu\u011fumuz bir felsefi soruyu nedir diye sorduklar\u0131nda \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak istedi\u011fim konu olan \u00f6zne\/nesne, obje\/suje aras\u0131ndaki fark\u0131n ve ili\u015fkinin ne oldu\u011fu idi. 2019 Eyl\u00fcl ay\u0131nda Bo\u011fazi\u00e7i \u00dcniversitesi Felsefe Y\u00fcksek Lisans\u0131’na ba\u015flad\u0131m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2019 Aral\u0131k’ta Landmark Forum yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda Pandora’n\u0131n kutusu a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131!  (bkz. Landmark Ya\u015fam M\u00fcfredat\u0131) Sonras\u0131nda B\u00f6l\u00fcm’den arkada\u015f\u0131m olan sevgili \u00fcstat Mira \u015eeniz Erten’in aile dizilimine temsilci olarak kat\u0131ld\u0131m. (bkz. Aile Dizimi ve Felsefede “Temsil”)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Y\u00fcksek lisans tezimi (bkz. A\u015fk, Ak\u0131l ve A\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k: “Anlat\u0131lamaz” A\u015fk ve Anlam\u0131n\/Duyumun S\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131) hayat\u0131mdaki rol\u00fc bir \u00f6\u011fretmenin ve dan\u0131\u015fmanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00e7ok \u00f6tesindeki sevgili Chyrissi Sidiropolou \u00f6nderli\u011finde yazd\u0131m. “Bu konuyu \u00e7al\u0131\u015fabilecek hassasiyet \u00f6zen ve k\u0131r\u0131lganl\u0131ktas\u0131n!” diyerek beni kendi hocas\u0131 olan \u0130lham Dilman’a y\u00f6nlendirdi. T\u00fcrkiye’de maalesef pek bilinmese de d\u00fcnyaca \u00fcnl\u00fc bir filozof olan \u0130lham Dilman, Chyrissi’nin s\u00f6yledi\u011fine g\u00f6re tam bir istanbul beyefendisiymi\u015f. Love: Its Forms, Dimensions and Paradoxes (Sevgi: Bi\u00e7imleri, Boyutlar\u0131 ve Paradokslar\u0131) kitab\u0131 ile Platon’un baz\u0131 diyaloglar\u0131n\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131rmal\u0131 tezini yazd\u0131m. \u0130ngilizce’de sense kelimesi, hem v\u00fccudun duyumlar\u0131 hem de “this makes sense” kal\u0131plar\u0131nda oldu\u011fu gibi “bu anlaml\u0131d\u0131r” yani anlam olarak kullan\u0131l\u0131r ya da ikisine de refere eder. Bu tezi anlaml\u0131 k\u0131labilmemde ve kelime ile anlat\u0131lamaz olan\u0131 dilim ve klavyem d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnce anlatabilmemde \u015fimdilerde e\u015fim olan o zamanki erkek arkada\u015f\u0131m Ali Emre’nin pay\u0131 \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck. (foto) (bkz. Cinsel Er\u00f4s ve \u00dcreme)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Deneyim olmadan bilgi olamaz. Yine Platon’a g\u00f6re bir \u015feyi bilmek, onu yapmak, deneyimlemek, uygulamak, ya\u015famakt\u0131r. (bkz. Bilmek ve \u0130draak aras\u0131nda Ol’mak)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

29 May\u0131s 1994’te \u0130stanbul’da D\u00fcnya’ya geldim. (foto) Hala tam olarak D\u00fcnya’da m\u0131y\u0131m emin de\u011filim. D\u00fcnyevi ile d\u00fcnyevi olmayan aras\u0131nda bir ba\u011flant\u0131y\u0131m, ki bu Er\u00f4s<\/em>‘tur. (bkz. Er\u00f4s<\/em>‘un Etimolojisi<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Platon’a g\u00f6re Yunanca Er\u00f4s<\/em> yani A\u015fk\/Sevgi bir deamon<\/em>‘dur -yani d\u00fcnyevi olmayan (ilah\u00ee) ve d\u00fcnyevi, Tanr\u0131(lar) ve insan aras\u0131nda yar\u0131 tanr\u0131sal g\u00fc\u00e7ler, mesajc\u0131lard\u0131r. (bkz. Sokrates, Diotima, Er\u00f4s<\/em><\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Babam \u0130smail Kurtar, \u015eark\u00f6y sahilinde gezinirken kayalar\u0131n \u00fczerinde oturan bir deniz k\u0131z\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f. Boydan boya uzanan, uzun bacakl\u0131, narin ve \u00e7ok g\u00fczel bir deniz k\u0131z\u0131. Annem Oya \u00d6\u011fretmen’i g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f. Bu deniz k\u0131z\u0131, insan olmay\u0131 \u00e7ok merak etmi\u015f ve kuyru\u011fundan, \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fczl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden vazge\u00e7ip iki bacak edinmi\u015f ve kayadan kalk\u0131p y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f. Yan\u0131nda teyzesi de varm\u0131\u015f. O y\u00fczden \u0130smail ilkin onlara yakla\u015famam\u0131\u015f, zor duruma da sokmak istememi\u015f ama bu saf g\u00fczelli\u011fi de ka\u00e7\u0131rmak istememi\u015f. O y\u00fczden geriden geriden takip etmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc A\u015fk\/Sevgi harekete ge\u00e7irendir. Ve i\u015fte \u0130smet \u00d6zer’in de dedi\u011fi gibi “Ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n a\u015fk\u0131yla ba\u015fl\u0131yor hayat\u0131m\u0131z”… (bkz. Firdevs: Arkada\u015flar Aras\u0131nda Er\u00f4s<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ana okulundayken kap\u0131da durup her sabah herkese “G\u00fcnayd\u0131n!” dedi\u011fimi hayal meyal hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum. Ve bir \u00e7ocuk hep karn\u0131ma vururdu. Ben her g\u00fcn yine de herkese “G\u00fcnayd\u0131n!” derdim. Ve o \u00e7ocuk karn\u0131ma vururdu. Annemin de \u015fahitli\u011fince “G\u00fcnayd\u0131n!” demekten vazge\u00e7memi\u015fim. G\u00fcnayd\u0131n! (foto, \u00c7i\u011fdem Anaokulu, 1998; bkz. Wu Wei: \u00d6b\u00fcr Yana\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da \u00c7evir<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alt\u0131nc\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131fta K\u00fclt\u00fcr Koleji’ne burslu olarak ba\u015flad\u0131m. T\u00fcrk\u00e7e \u00f6\u011fretmenim ve o zamanlardaki manevi ablam Ba\u015fak Kulu\u011f bize Faz\u0131l Say’\u0131n Naz\u0131m Hikmet Oratoryosu’nu a\u00e7t\u0131. (bkz. Faz\u0131l Say – Naz\u0131m Oratoryosu<\/a>) Naz\u0131m’la \u015fiirle ve “Ineffable”(Anlat\u0131lamaz) ile ba\u011flant\u0131ya ge\u00e7ip A\u015fk’a o zaman d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. (bkz. A\u015fk’a d\u00fc\u015fmek<\/a>) 6. s\u0131n\u0131ftan 7. s\u0131n\u0131fa ge\u00e7erken bursumu artt\u0131r\u0131rsam bana k\u00f6pek alacaklar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yleyen ebeveynlerim s\u00f6zlerinde durdular. \u0130lk ko\u015fulsuz sevgi… (bkz. Bonita: \u0130lk Ko\u015fulsuz Sevgi<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Robert Kolej’deyken dilin nas\u0131l bir d\u00fcnya yaratabildi\u011fini ve ‘o dilin d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda kalan’dan nas\u0131l mahrum b\u0131rakabildi\u011fini deneyimledi\u011fim y\u0131llar ge\u00e7irdim. O kadar mahrum kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm bir d\u00fcnya daha vard\u0131 ki kendi d\u00fcnyama daha \u00e7ok tutunmam\u0131 sa\u011flad\u0131. Gould Hall’daki bir kermeste Jeffrey’i buldum. Benim plastik kertenkele arkada\u015f\u0131m. Onu \u00f6yle bir yaratt\u0131m ve canland\u0131rd\u0131m ki Jeffrey benden daha g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr oldu. Herkes s\u0131n\u0131fta veya serviste “Jeffrey’i buraya g\u00f6ndersene!”, “Jeffrey’i bu tarafa yollasana!” diyordu. Bu sadece plastik bir kertenkeleydi. Onu bu kadar pop\u00fcler yapan \u015fey Jeffrey olmas\u0131yd\u0131. (bkz. Rit\u00fcel ve Yarat\u0131m: \u0130nsan rit\u00fcelistik bir hayvand\u0131r<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kendimi ait hissetmedi\u011fim o d\u00fcnyada kendimi ait olmaya en yak\u0131n hissetti\u011fim yer \u00f6zellikle co\u011frafya derslerinde yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015fiirlerdi. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc co\u011frafya derslerinin verildi\u011fi s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131n manzaras\u0131 direkt bo\u011faza bakard\u0131, s\u00fctunlar\u0131n aras\u0131ndan. (foto) Ve G\u00fczel olana bakmak O’nu anlatmak iste\u011fi ile doldurur i\u00e7imizi. Kendimi ait olmaya en yak\u0131n hissetti\u011fim ikinci durak ise Band Apart isimli kul\u00fcpt\u00fc. Filmlerin d\u00fcnyas\u0131 ile ilk orada tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Being John Malkovich a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u015f sahnesi… (bkz. Bir Ben var benden i\u00e7eri, Bergson bak\u0131\u015f\u0131n \u00e7ift y\u00f6nl\u00fc ak\u0131\u015f\u0131<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131n ara tatilinde anneannem ve babaannem ayn\u0131 anda hastayd\u0131lar. Ailecek Tekirda\u011f’a gittik ve d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fczde babaannemin yo\u011fun bak\u0131mda oldu\u011fu hastaneye babamla ben indik. Asl\u0131nda ziyaret\u00e7i alm\u0131yorlard\u0131 ama babaannemin durumu kritikti, bizi ald\u0131lar. Odaya girdik. Babaannem sa\u00e7lar\u0131 grinin elli tonu olarak a\u011fz\u0131nda boruyla yat\u0131yordu. Bilinci kapal\u0131yd\u0131. Duvara yak\u0131n olan tarafa yakla\u015ft\u0131m, babam\u0131 izlemeye ba\u015flad\u0131m. Babam yata\u011fa yakla\u015ft\u0131, babaannemin sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck bir itinayla\/\u00f6zenle ok\u015fad\u0131, biraz e\u011fildi, “Ate\u015f b\u00f6cekleri geldi,” dedi “hadi kalk”. Ben babaannemin hayati fonksiyonlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6steren ekrana bak\u0131yordum, bir s\u00fcre de onlara bakmaya devam ettim a\u011flamamak i\u00e7in. (bkz. \u00d6l\u00fcm, A\u015fk ve \u00d6l\u00fcms\u00fczl\u00fck<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Edebiyat dersinde annemle ilgili yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir \u015fiiri okudum. Bitirdi\u011fimde her \u015feyle dalga ge\u00e7ebilen ve \u00e7ok e\u011flenen taraf\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6steren bir arkada\u015f\u0131m Dehan y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc ti\u015f\u00f6rt\u00fcne kapatm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 siliyordu. (bkz. Dokunmak, Temas etmek, Ba\u011flant\u0131<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Felsefe dersinde A.I. Artificial Intelligence (Yapay Zeka, 2001) filmini izliyorduk. Felsefe okumaya o derslerde karar verdim, \u00f6zellikle o filmde. Bir bedeni, \u00e7ok iyi tasarlanm\u0131\u015f bir makineyi “insan” yapan nedir? (bkz. \u00d6nce bi insan ol: Wittgenstein “Bir Ruh’a kar\u015f\u0131 tutum, Dilman “duygusal kavrama”<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2013 y\u0131l\u0131nda Robert’ten mezun olurken, \u00e7\u0131kartt\u0131\u011f\u0131m Hermafrodit<\/em> (Beni Kurtar, 2012) kitab\u0131m sayesinde Halide Edip Ad\u0131var edebiyat \u00f6d\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00fc ald\u0131m. (bkz. Cem TV: \u015fiir, saz, kapak viski ve g\u00fclla\u00e7 yapraklar\u0131<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kelimeler vesilesi ile O’nunla dans etmeyi hep sevmi\u015fimdir. O’nun beni dans ettirmesini de diyebiliriz. (bkz. Halil Cibran ve Aile Dizimi<\/a>) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2014 y\u0131l\u0131nda Bo\u011fazi\u00e7i \u00dcniversitesi Felsefe B\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc’ne ba\u015flad\u0131m. \u0130kinci s\u0131n\u0131fta Chyrissi Sidiropolou ile Philosophy of Religion After Wittgenstein (Wittgenstein Sonras\u0131 Din Felsefesi) dersini ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m s\u0131ra tahtaya yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir c\u00fcmleyi \u00e7ok net hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum. “Only Love believes in Ressurrection. (Yanl\u0131zca A\u015fk\/Sevgi Dirili\u015fe (canlanmaya) inan\u0131r.” (foto)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2019 mezun oldu\u011fumun yaz\u0131nda hayat\u0131m\u0131n en zor diyebilece\u011fim d\u00f6nemini ge\u00e7irdim (Allah daha zorlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6stermesin! foto). Kaybolmu\u015f, umutsuz, \u00f6zg\u00fcvensiz, karanl\u0131k ve g\u00f6rece belleksiz… \u015eirince’deki Nesin Matematik K\u00f6y\u00fc’nde Filmlerde Zihin Felsefesi kamp\u0131na kat\u0131ld\u0131m. Ve orada di\u011fer pek \u00e7ok g\u00fczel insan\u0131n yan\u0131 s\u0131ra Kaan Atalay ile tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Platon’un A\u015fk’\u0131ndan ve Sokrates’ten \u00f6yle farkl\u0131 bir \u015fekilde bahsetti ki… (bkz. “\u0130nanman\u0131n S\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 ve Devrimin Sonsuzlu\u011fu – Kaan Atalay ” #1 – YouTube <\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bo\u011fazi\u00e7i \u00dcniversitesi Felsefe Y\u00fcksek Lisans B\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc kabul m\u00fclakatlar\u0131 s\u0131ras\u0131nda ilgin\u00e7 buldu\u011fumuz bir felsefi soruyu nedir diye sorduklar\u0131nda \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak istedi\u011fim konu olan \u00f6zne\/nesne, obje\/suje aras\u0131ndaki fark\u0131n ve ili\u015fkinin ne oldu\u011fu idi. 2019 Eyl\u00fcl ay\u0131nda Bo\u011fazi\u00e7i \u00dcniversitesi Felsefe Y\u00fcksek Lisans\u0131’na ba\u015flad\u0131m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2019 Aral\u0131k’ta Landmark Forum yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda Cennet’in kap\u0131lar\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131!  (bkz. Landmark Ya\u015fam M\u00fcfredat\u0131<\/a>) Sonras\u0131nda B\u00f6l\u00fcm’den arkada\u015f\u0131m olan sevgili \u00fcstat Mira \u015eeniz Erten’in aile dizilimine temsilci olarak kat\u0131ld\u0131m. (bkz. Aile Dizimi ve Felsefede “Temsil”<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Y\u00fcksek lisans tezimi (bkz. A\u015fk, Ak\u0131l ve A\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k: “Anlat\u0131lamaz” A\u015fk ve Anlam\u0131n\/Duyumun S\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131<\/a>) hayat\u0131mdaki rol\u00fc bir \u00f6\u011fretmenin ve dan\u0131\u015fmanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00e7ok \u00f6tesindeki sevgili Chyrissi Sidiropolou \u00f6nderli\u011finde yazd\u0131m. “Bu konuyu \u00e7al\u0131\u015fabilecek hassasiyet \u00f6zen ve k\u0131r\u0131lganl\u0131ktas\u0131n!” diyerek beni kendi hocas\u0131 olan \u0130lham Dilman’a y\u00f6nlendirdi. T\u00fcrkiye’de maalesef pek bilinmese de d\u00fcnyaca \u00fcnl\u00fc bir filozof olan \u0130lham Dilman, Chyrissi’nin s\u00f6yledi\u011fine g\u00f6re tam bir istanbul beyefendisiymi\u015f. Love: Its Forms, Dimensions and Paradoxes (Sevgi: Bi\u00e7imleri, Boyutlar\u0131 ve Paradokslar\u0131) kitab\u0131 ile Platon’un baz\u0131 diyaloglar\u0131n\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131rmal\u0131 tezini yazd\u0131m. \u0130ngilizce’de sense kelimesi, hem v\u00fccudun duyumlar\u0131 hem de “this makes sense” kal\u0131plar\u0131nda oldu\u011fu gibi “bu anlaml\u0131d\u0131r” yani anlam olarak kullan\u0131l\u0131r ya da ikisine de refere eder. Bu tezi anlaml\u0131 k\u0131labilmemde ve kelime ile anlat\u0131lamaz olan\u0131 dilim ve klavyem d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnce anlatabilmemde \u015fimdilerde e\u015fim olan Ali Emre’nin pay\u0131 \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck. (foto) (bkz. Cinsel Er\u00f4s ve \u00dcreme<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Deneyim olmadan bilgi olamaz. Yine Platon’a g\u00f6re bir \u015feyi bilmek, onu yapmak, deneyimlemek, uygulamak, ya\u015famakt\u0131r. (bkz. Bilmek ve \u0130drak aras\u0131nda Ol’mak<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hakk\u0131mda \/ About Me 29 May\u0131s 1994’te \u0130stanbul’da D\u00fcnya’ya geldim. (foto) Hala tam olarak D\u00fcnya’da m\u0131y\u0131m emin de\u011filim. D\u00fcnyevi ile […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"folder":[56],"class_list":["post-28","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovewithbuse.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/28","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovewithbuse.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovewithbuse.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovewithbuse.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovewithbuse.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=28"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lovewithbuse.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/28\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":61,"href":"https:\/\/lovewithbuse.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/28\/revisions\/61"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovewithbuse.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=28"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovewithbuse.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ffolder&post=28"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}